.mOt|vAt|oN.

:: Prayer update 4th Nov ::

2008-11-04T14:58:00.002+08:00

1. Pray for good rice harvest in Thailand, let no flooding or bad weather affect the crops that are ready for harvest this November.

2. Pray for me that I will resist comparing the standard of living when I return home, but that I will count my blessings.

3. Pray that God will show me my next step.

:: homeless ::

2008-10-27T16:03:00.002+08:00

This is the third time I'm facing the possibility of homelessness.... those nights before i sleep i wondered where i would be sleeping the next night. The first time it happened Fon told me that she thought I was very brave because I didn't cry... but this time I can't help it already.

Praise God that I have a home in Singapore. Sometimes that made me wish to return earlier. ...

:: movement update ::

2008-10-16T16:08:00.002+08:00

I'm going to Sawang Daendin again tmr morning, with a few other church and RCDC (childcare centre) staff. The principal of RCDC Sawang Daendin is getting married! I asked to be invited hehehehe..

I will stay there with Fon until 21st for a camp where she is helping to do translation. Then when we return I will move to Franza's place as Gail is hosting her friend until the 26th.

Honestly i feel a bit pai seh to keep occupying Gail's place without paying and it wasn't in the deal (of my mission trip) in the first place. I will see if Franza can let me stay for the rest of my trip.

Homeless again!

:: back from hotel! ::

2008-10-10T09:18:00.003+08:00

nothing much to update, except that the CONFERENCES ARE OVER!!! woohoo~

Can't really describe what was shared, because certain topics are sensitive as works are carried out in certain communist countries. Was too tired to participate in workshops that I was interested in also. =(

Just glad to meet the bishops as well as the missions delegates from many parts of Asia (mostly Singapore). Met Rev Timothy Chow (very funny - he wanted to walk to the airport), Rev Joshua (Shaam), Rev Jonathan Wong, Rev Steven Seah (can't rem where I met him before but he looks familiar), and my friend from Campus Crusade. Very surprised and quite glad to see him because I thought he backslided or something.. =x

Been staying at the hotel and acting as a service provider (go out to exchange money, coordinate with the tailor, buy phone card etc). Very very tired. On the last day I actually had time to take a nap while the delegates go home, but i couldn't fall asleep. =( Got a little headache when i woke up this morning. (Glad to be home at Baansiriyenakat!!)

Been eating so much i ought to go on a diet. =x

To date I have lodged at the following places in 2 months during this Bkk trip:
1. Yee's family residence
2. Gail's apartment
3. on an overnight bus and in the church in Sawang Daendin
4. Hotel in Korat
5. Church in Ban Chang
6. Fon's friend's place in Ban Chang
7. one night at Franza's place at Silom Lofts
8. Royal Benja Hotel

LOL

:: stress ::

2008-09-24T22:30:00.002+08:00

Went to survey the area around the hotel where we would be holding the Bishops' Meeting (CCEA) and the Missions Conference (MCR) from 1-5 Oct and 6-9 Oct respectively. So you can imagine that, because these 2 are held back-to-back, how stressed I am.

1st Oct is just next Wednesday!!! I've got to:

1. Draw out the map based on what we surveyed and do up a list of services around the area

2. Finish up the 6 brochures with the information of the churches and ministries that the Anglican Church of Thailand is involved in

3. Do up name tags for the bishops (ooh i get to see the bishops from all over Asia! - someone joked during the English service that if u want to find out how the bishops look like, come and help out as guides and volunteers to welcome them LOL)

4. Lead a group as they split up to sightsee Bangkok (i boycotted Suan Lum Night Bazaar when it was brought up as a suggestion because of my recent experience there, expensive and nothing interesting to buy)

5. Finish the powerpoint presentation i was tasked to do, and to help do the projection on the first day

6. Move to the hotel and stay there throughout the conference period - so i'll be very busy and without internet access during this time

Umm... of all the tasks above i think No. 2 is the most pressing and stressful one.

OT tmr and chiong next week!!

:: busy ::

2008-09-22T11:05:00.002+08:00

ummm... nothing much to update, except that i'm getting busier. These 2 weeks since i returned flew past VERY quickly!

conducted a lesson on design and communication last thurs... and i'm supposed to finish up some powerpoint presentations and brochures for the conference 2 weeks later!!!!!! no time! Getting stressed. Falling sick again :( got phlegm... dunno is it because of the weather, or the workload =x

Thank God for Mondays (rest days)!

:: back from provinces ::

2008-09-10T10:24:00.003+08:00

Last week I went with Fon to:

1. Sawang Daendin (Mon - Wed)
2. Korat aka Nakhon Ratchasima (Wed - Fri)
3. Ban Chang (Fri - Mon)

Had a great time in these places... met Singaporean missionaries in Sawang and Korat. Learnt more about church planting work and I've been wondering how it could apply to the church in Tanjung Balai and in Cambodia. Culture plays such a major role!!!!!!

Pray about:

1. Flooding in Thailand - i may want to get a pair of boots soon

2. Sawang Daendin - they need English native-speaking volunteers to teach for long term at the kindergarden. The parents have a choice of placing their children in other kindergardens because the current volunteer (Audrey) has finished her 4-month "contract" and is returning to Singapore soon. And the kindergarden is the church's source of income. Pastor Dickson tries to raise fund from Singapore for the income, but that is not sustainable.

3. Korat - This nice town is doing quite well... praise God. Pray for opportunities to reach even more people

4. Ban Chang - Achan Anong is the leader of the church (Super woman!!) She has a committee though. The last she shared about the church it was full of thanksgiving because the kindergarden there is doing well, in terms of intake and support. The church is expanding so that it doesn't have to share compounds with the kindergarden, and they need 100,000 baht more. Pray for financial support and manpower!

5. Oh yah. The political situation. Pray for wisdom! Only wisdom can rule a country well. I don't really know what's going on out there, but it's been disrupting tourism and businesses for the lower class people. Hmm.. just read that the prime minister of Thailand hosts a TV cooking show. I'm sorry, but doesn't it sound amusing?

:: Lovely new place! ::

2008-08-28T15:59:00.004+08:00

Wow praise God, I gotta testify about what God has done for me regarding accommodation. I've finally moved into Gail (my colleague)'s place, and it's so much nicer, it's quite like a jump from a guesthouse to a hotel room. I've still got my own bathroom (wow!) which has a glass door like at home, my bedroom's bigger though I can't connect to internet yet... The gym I'm quite sure is new, though i haven't seen it, and I heard good things about the pool here. :D Everything's like better here. So thank God for the change, although abrupt, it was ... indescribable, it's an upgrade!

Oops I jumped straight into unpacking before taking photos, that explains the mess. My colleague actually prepared a stuffed toy hippo on the pillow to accompany me!

I could sure do lots of reading. Perhaps it's time to pick up the Purpose Driven Life so many people talked about. :)

Perhaps the only downgrade would be the meals and the laundry, Gail doesn't do much cooking, and I prefer to eat outside anyway, so, no more free meals. There's a washing machine, but I err.. gotta learn how to operate it. I'm a washing-machine-idiot really.

Wow they actually built the walls AROUND the tree!

:: Protests in Bangkok ::

2008-08-27T16:03:00.002+08:00

There are protests in Bangkok, people want Mr Samak to resign, but he believes that staying on protects his country.

The riots yesterday broke out into a small fight where a few people got injured, but that didn't affect me. I've been staying in a safe radius around the church, don't worry.

Tonight I am going to move into a colleague's place. Haven't confirmed with her yet, so my luggage is in the car boot and I can't be sure where I am staying tonight. Haha.. first-hand experience of being homeless. No, I'm not blaming the family that I have to move out, but that it's funny to be caught in such a situation. Okay, I think it's funny.

:: uncertainty ::

2008-08-25T10:06:00.003+08:00

I'm supposed to move house today. My host family's son wants to use my current room for studying (it's his original room anyway). So last night they tried to arrange me to stay with another colleague at her apartment. She's nice and hospitable.

Then this morning there seems to be a change of plans. There's a vacant apartment nearer church (walkable in 15 min) where I could put up for the rest of my stay here. Only problem is the safety for me to get home after dark. Actually the safety of getting home late at the colleague's apartment is also a concern.

I would like to stay on my own (guess I don't really like accountabilty :P) but since I'm only 22, it's hard to convince my host parents to allow me to. (I can't sound too eager to move out too, you see)

And since Franza is coming and would be looking for a place on her own, she could stay in that apartment with me. So I guess I just need to contact her and firm things up.

Please pray that things could firm up soon (I've packed up already), and that wherever I move, God will protect and bless the plans.

Oh besides that, I don't know when I should book my return ticket. Should I wait till I've extended my visa? You know, AirAsia is a budget airline, I hate to have to incur extra costs for changing flights etc, although COR would bear the costs. But my visa extension would be somewhere in Oct, and by then the airfare would have been much higher. I tried to check the website whether there would be extra costs to change flight but stupid website doesn't work with Mac. So I couldn't check. =(

2008-08-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

today i joined the malaysian team around as they do their "mission trip". It's like a crash course of (almost) all the ministries in the church. Today it's visiting children in the Chulalongkorn Hospital. We walked there from church. =x glad that i could sit back and watch what the team has prepared. i think the age group of this team is 30-60. wow. i uh think i will post photos on Facebook on Sat or something.

I really admire the staff in the church here. There are so many ministries they are involved in, eg, slums, orphanages, children's hospital, shelter for the homeless, cell grp, etc etc!! Honestly I'm quite tired out even though it's just my first week here, imagine the staff do follow up EVERY week!!

I have no more energy to stay up anymore.. (it's just 9pm and i think i ought to sleep already)

i guess it's also tiring trying to communicate with locals whose English isn't very strong, and especially u have to listen very carefully to get what they're saying.

uh.. gd night.

2008-08-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

Please pray for an infant who came from another province with her parents to seek treatment. She was crying non-stop, almost like struggling for breath. Her eyes were swollen. I'm sorry i didn't get her name or what exactly she's suffering from, just pray for the crying baby in Shalem House, that God will sooth her and take away her discomfort, so that her parents can come to believe the God of miracles.

I wonder if the family is suffering from spiritual attacks, because last night, the dad's (borrowed) car got broken into. The thief had cut the whole glass off the back of the car and stole 2000 baht worth of wood and some coins. Funny because the car was parked right in church! Rev Yee offered the parking lot for free because the hospital carpark charges 400 baht per day. And this family can't really afford it.

The matter has been settled, a pastor offered 2600 baht to the dad to pay for the repair of the car and also to cover the cost of the wood. The dad now feels bad that the church has offered such an extent of help. Hope that he experiences the love of God through the incident.

2008-08-19T17:57:00.002+08:00

i feel that the attacks are coming in... I'm beginning to complain (to myself, to my blog) about the food, accommodation, work, transport.....

Lots of negative thoughts are coming to me. Like, i feel inadequate and inexperienced to do the work expected of me.

okay i dun want to say too much. Just pray for me that i will get over this mindset.

:: updates ::

2008-08-17T09:09:00.003+08:00

Mondays: off
Tues: Staff Devotion
Weds: Visit Salem House - people from other provinces bring their children/relatives to hospital in Bangkok and stays here for the duration of their hospital treatment.
Thurs: Children Hospital (Chulalongkorn) visitation, Cell group
Fris: Staff Prayer meeting
Sats: Children's Church with P'Jarim, English tuition with Fon
Sun: Church service

Next week a team is coming from Malaysia and I will be joining them to learn what we can help out in the ministry here. Staff training on graphic design will be postponed till after my information gathering trip to 3 provinces.

I'm still getting on well. Pray that i will look out for opportunities to serve rather than wait for instructions.

My number is +66 8 77 08 0406. Nice? =)

:: safe and sound! ::

2008-08-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

I'm in the land of the thousand smiles!

It was perfect weather when I arrived, praise God. Nice sunset. =) Fon picked me up, she's pretty! =) Met Rev Yee's family, unpacked my stuff... Only started pouring when we were having dinner.

Nice house. =) Picking up wireless internet from a neighbour. hohoho.. Joshua says i'm a robber. haha.

:: still not finished packing!!! ::

2008-08-15T12:45:00.003+08:00

i'm supposed to leave home in 15 minutes but i'm still not done packing!! lol... just checked Air Asia website, each excess 1kg costs $7.50 and i've got 4 extra kg to shed! lol.... arghhhh~~ can't decide what to take out cuz i've got many things i intend to give the pple in bkk!

ah anyway forgot to introduce, this is my first time away for so long, going to Bkk for 3 months.. haven't bought my return ticket although now i can afford to. :P

Rev Yee just called to tell me he won't be picking me up personally at the airport; he's sent a lady named Fon to pick me up. Instructions for where to look out for her is quite clear, but do pray that i won't follow the wrong person! Lol.

Cya all in 3 months' time and keep checking this blog for updates and prayer requests.

*psst*.. mom's nagging, gotta go!

:: Trip update 26-27 Jul 2008 ::

2008-07-28T11:49:00.007+08:00

Met Persis at Harbourfront at 1.30pm, bought our tickets, and went to Pacific Coffee to chill and discuss what we are going to do. Ticket price increased a lot man! The fuel surcharge rose to 3 times since I last went!

We passed by a cartshop selling cute stuff and she decided to order personalised stickers for Phei Phei. It turned out really nice!! =)

Anyway we made it back early for the ferry. We continued to prepare for the sharing for Youth cell group and slept through the rest of the journey. Persis even brought papers to mark!

Arrived rather on schedule la, Phei Phei reached the jetty about 5 minutes before the ferry did. We changed money, confirmed our return tickets and headed to Vita's house. There we unpacked and rested while we snacked on the food Persis brought from her Parent-Teacher Talk/meeting!

About 6.45pm we moved off to the main road to catch an oplik to the church. Oh, the oplik fare increased! It's now 3000Rp! I only changed $8 cuz i didn't expect the price increase and set aside more. I'm gonna be very tight on this trip man.

Started cell group with a short time of games. It's called "tag". Sigh, i feel old playing this game. haha.. We had a guest from another church who led worship. He speaks Indonesian and only a little English, but wanted to teach the song "How Great is Our God". It was great la, can hear the youths trying to learn English while I am able to worship with this familiar song. Then for the time of sharing Persis and I shared abt "Having a good relationship with God". I described the kind of relationship we have with God and so what our response should be.

Persis demonstrated using object lessons of using 2 cups filled with coke. One had a piece of paper in it but the youths couldn't tell. So it's saying that even though people see us as perfect, we may be rubbish on the inside, and our relationship with God may be in a mess, and God is not pleased. we need God to cleanse us. The other object lesson is that there are many small pieces of paper, in 2 colours, and Persis got everyone to guess without looking the colour of paper in their hands. While some people got it correct, some got it wrong, but Persis showed that she could guess the colour correctly everytime. It's because she was the one who created the game, so she knows the texture of the paper well. Just like God created us, He knows us inside out and He knows our future. Since our future is secure in His hands, it is important to draw close to Him.

After cell group we went to the pasar malam to look at shoes hahaha.. It was drizzling but thank God, Phei Phei said that it was raining the day before. God really blesses me with good weather everywhere I go. :P We wanted to go pasar malam because Wati bought her beautiful shoes there! but anyway i'm broke so i just planned to window shop. Seems like the prices have increased, so we decided to leave. I told Vita to ask Novendi to cell group but he was busy, so we met him at the pasar malam instead. Chey, turns out he's Weilun and i met him before. hahaha.. these youths from balai add me on msn and i dunno who they are lor.

We (the whole cell grp) walked to near the jetty for dinner.. it was a really nice new place they opened up, Ah Yang told me it was opened 3 months ago only. It's called "Gloria" i think. We walked past this cute, interesting ride.

Persis and I were amazed at this innovation!

I ordered Mie Ayam and the rest ordered Sate (satay) and Tela-Tela. Another amazing new snack that took Balai by storm. hahaha.. i think all the youths are crazy about this new snack la!

Took oplik back, showered and watched tv.. I find Indo commercials as interesting as Thai. I can't tell the good commercials are from Indo or Thai anymore. =) Nando was smacking flies with an electric "badminton racquet", so cute! Vita was watching Channel U in the room, so we joined her. Then we went to sleep.

Next morning we could sleep in because someone else has been scheduled to do Sunday School. Had breakfast (mee rebus and fried lao shu fen) and chatted with Vita. She's graduating next yr but dunno what to do after that. If she wants to come to Singapore to study she may have to study and get a S1 degree first. (dun really know what's that but it means a long route) I feel quite sad about the future of the youths in Balai, some of them obviously can study and get good results, but what can they do with them? They can't find jobs in better places yet unless they continue to study some more. Youths like Adriano has taken a smarter move, by going to Singapore to study since primary school. So his English foundation is stronger and enables him to go Singapore unis as easily as any Singaporean. Just that when he first entered pri sch he had to study one year extra la, but what is this one yr compared to 3-4 years that other youths like Vita has to take? Vita can also go Batam to study la, but seems like the degree there is also not very recognised if she wants to work in Singapore.

Anyway, we left the house about 11am, went to the supermarket nearby to do our "shopping". This cat at the entrance came up to me and snuggled at my feet.

Love it! but a little too ticklish hehe..

Persis bought boxes of red pens because it's really good. And i bought my usual supply of Indomie Goreng. :P Wanted to buy other stuff but no money!! Gotta set aside some for transport and return tax! And talking about the return tax, the price has increased too!! :( It used to be 10,000Rp, but now it's 25,000Rp! That means 15,000Rp less for my spending! We didn't know that till the pastor from Holy Trinity church told us. He and his team were teaching Sunday School.

Deep in thought

Tela-Tela menu!

Tanjung Balai babies:

Sera! She can walk already!

Aimei plays with us, finally!

New baby, Yong Guang, Sera's younger brother

Xiao Ying, she likes to bounce on people's laps! But looking a little grouchy now.

Oh! I saw this cute baby asleep as I was getting my bag from the inner room after service.

Uncle Asun preached from James 2:14-26 about Faith and Deeds. Wati was sitting beside me so i reminded her of the lessons from cell group yesterday.

Persis and I had only 6000Rp left after setting aside 50,000Rp for return tax. This 6000 is able to get us an oplik ride to the jetty, but we were more than an hour ahead of time, so we decided to walk there. :P Adventurous sia! =D

Badminton court. What a beautiful sky in the background! Praise God for good weather!

We stopped by near the river to take photos, since we've always taken oplik and passed by but never got down to admire the view.

Life there seems peaceful

The Holy Trinity people took oplik to Indo A. Yani to shop. We walked past them as they came out and were taking oplik to the jetty.

My sandals snapped! But thank God! It only snapped when we were VERY near the jetty. (We were almost lost and had to ask our way to the pelabuhan!)

We still had the 6000Rp so we bought gorengan with it! Yummy!~ See our wornout faces.. haha.. We boarded the ferry early and managed to find seats.. thank God! The Holy Trinity people boarded the ferry quite late and were unable to find seats. Maybe they were enjoying their coffee they forgot the time?

:: Tanjung Balai trip #1 2008 ::

2008-07-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

Going Tanjung Balai on 26-27 July with Persis, staying at Vita's place. Told Rev Kong Kheng about our plans and he approved, since that weekend no one else going in. He also told me if possible, to continue to help the youths there as they don't seem to be bonding. There are currently 2 cliques, the ones who are still schooling, and the ones who dropped out. I... really don't know what to do. MCG always warns us against spoonfeeding them too much that the locals don't know how to seek God for help. How much is stepping in too much?

:: Kelas Bahasa Indo ::

2008-03-13T09:39:00.002+08:00

By the way for those interested in taking Bahasa Indonesia, also contact me, I still have the contact of the teachers in Orchard Presbyterian Church.

I'll not leave my contact details on my blog, apparently my tagboard is being spammed >.< but you can leave a msg on my tagboard. Thanks!

:: Thai Language Course ::

2008-03-11T11:40:00.002+08:00

There is a ten-week, weekly Thai language lesson starting 24th March Monday 8.00 - 9.30pm. It'll be conducted in Glory Presbyterian Church (Bukit Timah), and they have a Thai ministry.

It's $20 for non-members of Glory Presbyterian church, per level for 5 levels.

Registration closes 21st March.

:: updates on the youths ::

2007-11-27T12:20:00.000+08:00

**** OH!!! It's Wiky's birthday today!! ...hmm trying to find some way to wish him.. ****

Vita, her dad, and Nando are getting baptised on 2nd Dec!! I wish I could go and witness!

Vita's dad is such a joyful believer, from our conversation over lunch during my last trip he was sharing with us. Though I couldn't understand much Hokkien, I can see that he's full of joy. Praise God for his faith and salvation.

Chatted with Ana over Yahoo Messenger too (the youths are into it now).. She shared that she doesn't go to cell group anymore. Encouraged her not to give up on Jesus, and she replied that she hasn't, just that she doesn't pray and go to church anymore... When i asked her whether she's sure of her love for Jesus, she says no, her heart is very confused. unfortunately we have a bit of language barrier so i couldn't find out what she means.

I also chat with Wiky and Frenky hehehehe... so happy. Learnt that Frenky is working at a cosmetics shop, and Wiky is working during the day and studying at night. I really admire his perseverance and love for studying and pursuing of knowledge.

Aling is often in Batam so she hasn't been going for cell group regularly too.

Wati fell sick last week, hope she's getting better now.

Phei Phei's brother smsed me a few msgs.. a bit uncomfortable cuz he mentioned missing me. :S Persis told me not to reply, but i was trying to be careful to not to be over-friendly with him or totally ignore him. Brought this up to PP and i think she told him about it, and he apologised. i don't like the fact that he just took his sister's handphone and started sms-ing her friends without her knowledge!

Pray for the youths.

:: trip update 18 Nov ::

2007-11-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

went to Balai with Persis. didn't see Phei Phei at the jetty, so we went to church on our own. The church was still not open yet so we went to the market to shop. bought a pair of earrings. hee..
then Sunday School.. glad that ahqiang came. lesson on Psalm 139:14. did a simple art and craft.

lunch at opp church, a coffeeshop opened by Elisa's parents. not bad la the meepok, tastes like banmian. lol.
service.. last min Phei Phei went to preach. supposed to be uncle Ben, but he didn't turn up. hmm.. she used the analogy of holding a cup half-filled with water for half an hour, the cup seems to feel heavier though water wasn't added to it, to describe that we shldn't hold our burdens for too long, and that we can lift them to Jesus because we will become weary of doing things.

i know i can let go of my burdens to Jesus, but it's very difficult. pple's expectations of me doesn't help. haiz.

had dinner at a jap restaurant at Vivocity, with Phebe and her husband, uncle John, Joseph and Keith. because on the ferry Persis and i watched a bit of tv, it was a jap tv series and the people were eating jap noodles, so both of us decided to eat jap noodles too. haha.. bought passion fruit for M'kk. looked so 'aunty' carrying the plastic bag into the Jap restaurant.. lol. food's not that good.. bit into a lot of egg shells. service's only as good as greeting u when u enter, but when u need to refill ur green tea? no one's around.

tired...

:: trip update 21st Oct ::

2007-10-22T17:20:00.001+08:00

yay i'm back.. first 'chop' on my passport since i renewed it.

haha i didn't know what to do/prepare for Sunday School till Sat night itself. and sunday morning i just grabbed my crafts toolbox and materials right before i left! haha.. oh my.

Thank God my dad was going to work at about the same time and it stopped raining so he could give me a lift. To Potong Pasir at least. Met Persis and confirmed our tickets. Then i learnt that we could buy tickets from church Chinese Cong office, at a lower price! hmmm... haiz.

took Falcon 5 (sianzzzz... haa) to TBK - Tanjung Balai Karimun as the youngsters here call it - and i had to pay tax upon arrival for transporting a scanner. :( the guy at the customs asked for S$10, but no receipt was given. heh! i gave him a 50,000Rp and he let me go.

went to confirm return tickets. Phei Phei arrived and took us to church. We had some time before Sunday School starts so we went to buy materials from the shops nearby. For Sunday School Persis and I led worship (last min arrangement haha), then Persis did word and I did Art & Craft. Message was taken from John 4:43-54, about the timeliness of a miracle Jesus performed. So for A&C we used felt cloth to cut out shapes of a clock, and glue beads on.
*Reminder to myself: Huiyi requested me to help her get a craft toolbox like mine next time i go in.

After Sunday School we had lunch nearby church. i love the soup there :P~~~

had time to slack before service started.. so we sat around to chat. Got the youths' Yahoo messenger ids. haha.. they're into it these days.

during service i was touched by the worship songs.. There was a part where Paul knelt down and cried painfully.. that broke my heart. And i'm already a very hard-hearted person. Can you imagine how much more broken Jesus' heart is?

Asun-gu preached. I understood probably 75% of the sermon. It was taken from Ephesians 4:17. vs 18 mentioned "the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts". I felt that this verse jumps out to me. Have I gone back to my old self? A new self can't fit into old clothes. As I pondered about this while Asun-gu preached, I thought of an analogy: an old corn cob with its old leaves: it decides to shed its old leaves --> it becomes a new corn --> it puts on new leaves. Sometimes we feel like we're struggling, we feel uncomfortable being Christians and doing the things we do because we're new corns, still in old leaves. They just don't go well together. To stop struggling and be comfortable we have to DECIDE to shed the old leaves and put on new ones. Because that's the way we ought to be.

prayed for the pple after service. Auntie Liqing very funny, asked me to massage her back. haha.. she fell down after climbing on her roof to save her grandson from bees. We met her grandson on our way back from lunch, the bee-bites were ALL over his body and look so terrible everyone would crinch at the sight.

Then we took the ferry back to Singapore. had dinner at Thai Express. Though i love the green curry there i couldn't finish it. I think i can't take spicy food anymore. awww.. worried that i might not be able to sleep the whole night due to indigestion but thank God I managed to.

today i added the youths in Yahoo Messenger. finally managed to chat with Frenky!!! added him in friendster some more. aiyo i'm so vain! lol.

:: trip 21st Oct 2007 ::

2007-10-17T15:26:00.000+08:00

going in on Sunday only because I've got a cousin's wedding to attend on Sat and Persis has something on too.

This may be my last trip for 2007.

I'll reveal plans for 2008 some time later. =)

:: photos ::

2007-10-06T10:57:00.001+08:00

too many photos! can only choose some to collage.

:: trip update 29-30 Sep ::

2007-10-04T18:38:00.001+08:00

Didn't go in August as I wanted to, because I was very busy with work. I had wanted to introduce New Life Kit to the cell grp, not sure if they've done it before, so I asked PP. she thought it was a good idea. I also shared this idea with Gail and Jac and got confirmation tt they should go ahead with NLK. If I were to go in August with it, I had to get a copy of the discipler's manual, but i had not been able to. Anyway PP has a copy so she went ahead with it.

Sep trip.. was with M'kkadesh. Haha there were a lot of emails to each other confirming this and that, that PP had to go online on Yahoo Messenger to talk easier (and cheaper than SMS). Last thing confirmed was the ferry tickets. I sent in the email to Penguin with all the passport details the night after I received it from Elena, with my seldom-used email account (i wonder y) and had assumed that it would be successful as usual. On fri night i was still at office when I decided to check the email account for good news. (I suddenly remembered abt it on thurs night but i was in bed already.) When I saw the reply from Penguin i was going to cry already man. i was thinking, I am sooo screwed. They actually told me to reserve through Indofalcon instead. Why couldn't they pass it to them, they were just ONE counter away!! tried calling Indofalcon, but it was 9+pm already, i figure they must have closed. so i reminded myself to wake up early and call them first thing in the morning. (Suzanne and Gail were awaken by my calls hehe..)

So when I called, Indofalcon told me tt Tj Balai ferries are no longer managed by Penguin. they probably outsource to them. and that i couldn't reserve through the phone, they simply refused to hold 16 tickets for me and insist I buy the tickets at the counter! i was thinking, if we can't get 16 tickets for the 2.20pm ferry Elena is going to murder me. but they said they don't have 2.20pm ferry for that day also. Other timings are 12.25pm and 4pm. so we took the 12.25pm one. i missed the MCG tea session in the end, gail had to explain for me and pass things to the rest for me. i reached HBF cruise centre at about 9.30am and i realise i don't have $704 to buy all 16 tickets, so i had to wait for Suzanne and Samuel to come while the lady processed the passport info i printed out. then we went to meet the rest.

had breakfast at Mac and then we checked in. we were early... i rather we go in early then miss the ferry, i was so kiasi by then, scared to screw up anymore. Praise God for the smooth ride, most of us fell asleep on the ferry. haha.

PP and Aling came to fetch us, then we realise other church pple were here too. Asun-gu and Sally came to fetch them. There was a bus chartered for them, some of us squeezed in with them too. checked into Hotel Rasa Sayang, went for lunch at the bak kut teh stall beside it. after lunch Gail, PP, Aling and I had to go for a meeting with uncle Henry at Hotel Maximillian, to discuss the direction of Tj Balai ministry work. Uncle Colin introduced the hotel manager to me and he brought Gail and I on an orientation of the hotel. So nice!!!! will post the pics when I get home. we ended the meeting late, so Gail and I rushed back to the hotel to meet M'kk to bring them to church.

at church some of them started setting up, some interacted with the pple there, and Gail wanted to visit Xiao Lan. So i brought her and some of the guys to her place. She was not home... haiz. Dinner was ready but i was still not hungry. Some of us went to give out pamphlets to invite pple to go to the healing rally conducted by COOS (i didn't even know they were involved in the work here as well). then Gail mobilised ah yang to come find us to rush us to go back cuz the children have arrived already. m'kk really zai, can get the children to get active and hyped up for games. usually persis and i couldn't la. haha.. Gail and I were still discussing what was shared at the meeting earlier. By the end of the healing rally, m'kk pple were really exhausted from the games. haha.. somehow i think the number of COOS pple was more than the other pple who attended it. hmm... i was hungry and thrilled at the idea of supper already.

took the chartered bus back (haha free ride!) and had supper at Long Beach. then PP took Gail and I aside to talk abt some situation that had cropped up. we almost couldn't go ahead with the Children's Day party as planned, but thank God for His intervention. anyway back at the table uncle henry was there and i realise he took kelas bahasa as well! haha.. he recognised me but i couldn't. and he spoke such fluent thai i thought he was really khon thai (he got the Chatchai, Somchai.. kinda look =P)

back at the hotel after bath everyone came to our room for debriefing. i feel tt debriefing is impt. sometimes when persis n i don't debrief, we end up not knowing what each other had experienced during the trip, which is a...pity? so i was a little pissed at first when everyone came in with a 'let's get it over and done with then go and sleep' attitude. after they had left, Suzanne, Gail and I chatted till 2+am.. haha.. it was good la, to have tt what my cell grp guys call an ah-pek session. after tt i tried to squeeze into the bed but felt super uncomfortable, so i went to sleep on the floor eventually.

next morning, woke up when my alarm went off (i'm usually not like tt). Woke suzanne up for breakfast with uncle ben. haha.. went to the market for some shopping and then went to a coffeeshop nearby. ordered 9 plates of Indomie goreng and man, that took like half an hr! there was a cute cat trying to fall asleep standing up. haha.. the indomie was so spicy i felt terrible after eating it. err anyway after tt they went shopping for sunglasses haha.. and then they wanted to buy Indomie (actually me included) so i brought them to Indo A Yani. we were running late so we ran back.. kena scolding from Gail =x ooppsss.. cuz PP arrived at our hotel to wait for us early. threw up my breakfast after i reached the hotel room. yux.

then we took oplik to church for Sunday sch. M'kk was amazing at getting the kids to play games again. Gail and i were laughing at vincent for saying some hokkien words wrongly.. oops.. if vincent is reading i actually want to apologise la. i myself am so lousy at hokkien and unwilling to make mistake and learn, still dare to laugh at someone who's trying. haiz.

had mie bakso for lunch, spent the extra time talking to Gail, still regarding the meeting and our purpose there. haiz. then as we were sitting on the planks, large waves started coming in.. woohoo~ the kids also came near to play. saw some not-yet-dried cement on the ground and so i vandalised it.. hee..

church service was led by COOS.. i was very seh by then.

we were almost late for our ferry.. actually the ferry was later than us la. haa..

had dinner at HBF Food Junction. the food sucks.

trip update 21 - 22 July 07

2007-07-25T13:37:00.000+08:00

wah, this trip had been great! God is great!

got home late on fri (in fact i got home on Sat morning), so i didn't have much sleep. woke up about 7+am. was quite 迟钝 as i made my way to Harbourfront. reached around 9.30am, definitely not in time for the 9.50am ferry, so i bought the 12.25pm ticket. i forgot to bring tissue paper, hand lotion and cotton pad and other tools for manicure.. =x was thinking of buying, but i didn't bring enough money. i had only brought $60 for the whole trip. later u will see how God has blessed me with enough, despite my shortage of money! walked around, went to Seah Im food centre for teh tarik as well as to prepare for sharing for cell grp. took my time since i was 2 hrs early for the ferry. after that i went back to Vivocity to take a walk, and i took a seat outside Page One. then a familiar face appeared before me. my sec 3/4 classmate Yuhua! she had just bought the latest Harry Potter book. haha. so we chatted until it was nearly time for me to check in.

the ferry was late. took a seat as i waited for it. in front of me was a woman with a little boy, quite cute. she was with her mother, who carried a baby, most likely her younger son. then the ferry came. took a seat in front, and just behind me was the same woman with her mother and her 2 children. wah the "cute" boy was super noisy during the journey! he refused to sleep and disturbed me quite a bit. he was really naughty. and the grandmother was quite ...irritating as she was trying to googoogaga the baby. :S as u know i had very little sleep, so i was trying to catch a nap on the ferry. so buey tahan! kept praying that the boy will finally go to sleep. in the end halfway through the journey i suppose the woman realised that her son had been disturbing me, she suggested moving to the back of the ferry. Thank God! i finally can get to sleep. almost didn't know it was time to embark until the men behind started to talk quite loudly. woke up and got off the ferry.

my ferry ticket was $44 so i had $16 left. i changed $10 for 60,000Rp. Phei Phei was there to fetch me. paid 8000Rp for my return ticket. we took Oplik to Indo-Yani cuz i haven't had lunch. so i had Mie Ayam for 8500Rp and a bottle of green tea for 5000Rp. went to buy hand lotion for 7700Rp. wanted to buy cotton pad also, but PP says she still have extra from the last time we did facial for the Ladies' Ministry. whee~

went to put down my bag at Asun-gu's hse. not very sure what was going on but Wati seemed to have made plans to go to watch a band for the evening, but i think PP asked her to come for cell grp because we would be doing manicure and pedicure. after that we went out to look for Wati's friends to ask them along for cell grp. wow, we made 3 visitations around the area (saved money on transport) and met her friends. all quite pretty, and very easygoing. Jenny, Liping, Meihua... asked them to come for cell grp and they readily agreed! after that i went to PP's hse to get the cotton pad. my first time inside her house actually. had a great time of catching up as she showed me her old photos. we wanted to go out to eat, but her mom had cooked dinner. save money again! PP returned me money for the assessment book she asked me to buy for her, about 36,000Rp.

found out from PP that she actually doesn't have a list of the cell grp members' birthday and contact number. quite surprised. so i asked her to compile one. i think it's true that there isn't much accountability in the cell grp yet. we took oplik to church and prepared to start cell grp. actually we shld have started earlier. hmm anyway. Wati, Jenny, Liping, Meihua turned up with another girl, Jing Mei. and a guy, Weilun! i asked Weilun how come he would tag along, and he said he's there to escort the girls home later. so sweet! and i asked him if he's close to the girls, and he said he grew up with them, 从小玩到大. if only the other guys think like him, the cell grp would have more guys. i was surprised he would turn up today, as i mentioned, also partly because i had told them that it would be a manicure and pedicure session, and usually guys would feel awkward to be around. and i didn't want guys to come because i was hoping that this session would be a time of bonding for the girls, since some girls would feel shy to share deep things with a guy around. but weilun is very cute la. girls would like him to be around one.

played an icebreaker game called "How Well Do You Know Each Other?" something similar to what Amos conducted during the cell retreat, but a simpler version. i asked them to think of 2 questions abt themselves, then asked 2 other pple to answer their questions. if their friends answers correctly, they will get points. so far it was well-enjoyed, until it came to Baoling's turn. Baoling is Cailing's twin sister, but i think Cailing is less shy than her. Baoling refused to play. quite a big disappointment to me, because she's unwilling to let the cell grp get to know her better. felt that she's there to receive and receive, and not give at all. pardon me if u feel that i'm making a judgment here, but i wanted to observe the cell grp during this trip.

shared with the cell grp from Romans 15:1-13. at first i didn't expect newcomers, so i had wanted them to go one round and share openly one weakness abt themselves and one good thing abt each other. i wanted them to be comfortable and accountable to one another, but i guess they wouldn't be comfortable with the newcomers around. so i briefly explained to the newcomers about God and Jesus. i hope PP will follow up with them. in the end i just briefly went thru the passage and explained that i hope the cell grp will become comfortable with one another. Maybe in future we can do the exercise.

after that we went upstairs for manicure & pedicure. hoho~ basically just taught them the steps and let them do themselves. wanted them to do pedi together first, then mani. Wati had to do mani because her foot was injured. so in the end some did mani some did pedi. i'm not experienced la, i just shared with them what i know abt it lor. haha.

Step 1: soak feet in warm water for 1 min.
Step 2: use exfoiliating scrub on feet.
Step 3: wash off and dry feet.
Step 4: trim nails to desired shape and length.
Step 5: use the cuticle stick to dig out the dirty stuff around and under the nails.
Step 6: use emery board to file the nails.
Step 7: buff the nails. (all of them never heard of buffing before! esp Wati, she was surprised that after buffing her nails they actually shine!)
Step 8: (optional) apply nail polish - first use a base, then a colour, then a top coat.

for manicure, similar steps, except for step 2, instead of using exfoiliating scrub, use hand lotion.

actually this beauty session was to reinforce the idea of getting comfortable with each other, to the extent of applying nail polish for each other etc. i was quite surprised and amused when Jenny asked Weilun to help her remove the nail polish on her feet because she had just applied nail polish on her fingernails. Weilun is soooo sweet! i think they're a very cute and fun bunch of friends.

the mani and pedi took quite a long time, and it was getting late, so weilun sent the girls back. we invited them to join us for cell grp next time, and they were quite happy and agreed. then i went back with Wati. wanted to go and catch up with her parents, but i think they were asleep by the time we returned. so i took a shower and did my QT then went to sleep. i thanked God for the weather - it had been raining on and off, but it was quite cool, so i didn't perspire much, and it was easy to sleep. i thanked God for the newcomers, and i feel that this cell grp has hope. haha.. actually because we lost all the boys and a few girls.

had a good rest and woke up at 7.30am, despite having set 3 alarm settings. still in time to catch my ferry back la. Wati walked me to the main road to take the oplik to the jetty. i was the only passenger, so i was a little scared, what if the driver brought me to somewhere else to sell? but thank God i reached the jetty. bought tempe and pisang goreng for breakfast (which later caused me to fall sick =x). paid 10,000Rp for tax. and i brought 50,500Rp home. as if i didn't spend any money!

took the ferry back.. don't know why it seems like no one was rushing to board, unlike usual. slept on the journey. went thru customs in less than 5 minutes... praise God! then took train and went to church.

the reason i came back is for the MCG bible study in the afternoon. then decided to come back earlier for service as well. joined my cell grp for lunch nearby, then went back to church for the bible study. it was good discussion. taking the passage from Proverbs 24, we could actually relate it to missions & evangelism. can say that we were focused on our purpose in MCG. went home to sleep.

trip 21 - 22 July 07

2007-07-18T18:38:00.000+08:00

going to Tanjung Balai this weekend, to have a GIRLS' EVENING OUT. hee. Phei Phei had described to me the situation in youth there. The boys are either working or attending other churches. hmmm... and Wiky is studying in Batam... sobz he didn't tell me when..

About the girls I felt that their bond is still not very strong. They're still not accountable to each other yet. So as I was doing QT one day this week God gave me this idea of helping them enjoy each other's company and friendship. So I'm going over to have a beauty session with the girls! Mainly doing Manicure & Pedicure.

Please pray for me that i will keep in mind the objective of the trip even while i am there. Pray that it will be fruitful! Also since this trip is just after Worship07, pray that I will be refreshed, not tired out and not late for the ferry!

I will be back on Sunday morning, in time for service, i hope.

:: heartache ::

2007-07-09T13:35:00.000+08:00

what can pain me more to see the youth ministry in Tj Balai not growing, but losing the passion? Do I have to make a trip this month?

Will update when i find out more from Phei Phei regarding the youth ministry.

Cailing in KKH...

2007-07-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

Yup, it's been a long time since i've updated.

21 June - Cailing has come to Singapore for an operation on the tumour at her left side of the face and the operation was SUCCESSFUL!

22 June - I went to visit Cailing with Persis and Joseph at KKH children ward 55 bed 11. bought her a funky massager from Action City. Praise Fellowship pple were there too, they got her a cute music box with 2 dancing figurines. After they left, a lady distantly related to Cailing talked to us about her granddaughter, asking us to befriend her and bring her back from bad company. As she talked she teared. She must be quite troubled to have to support her, as well as other family members. Her son, the father of that granddaughter, had a new family in Tj Balai. Her daughter-in-law passed away. So Vivian only has her grandmother. I was quite troubled by her sharing, wondering how i could help this strayed teenager who dropped out of sch. i was quite scared because i dun want to get into trouble with gangsters.

25 June - I started to sms vivian because after speaking to Gail about her i got more confidence to deal with her. since Cailing was staying at her place, i could use the excuse of visiting Cailing, to look her up too. anyway, her response was quite friendly, but doesn't answer my questions directly. And when i got off work, she asked whether i could buy her a prepaid card. Dunno y but i quickly jumped to the idea that she needs a prepaid phone top-up card (after that i realise she didn't specify that) Anyway i was quite eager to help her buy, in hope that she will like me more as a friend. Quite silly actually. actually i think she's quite smart, because she didn't ask me to "help her buy" the prepaid card, but to "buy (it for) her". Cos later that night she smsed me, whether i will help her next time she has a cash prob. i started to find it difficult to befriend her. if i weren't asked by her grandmother to help her, i would ignore her straightaway. but i replied that i can treat her meals, but not give her money to spend.

26 June - Vivian asked me to lend her money to take cab home because she's not feeling well. again very smart, because i cannot advise her to take bus home instead since she's not feeling well.

27 June - i only replied tt msg the next morning, telling her to ask her grandmother for the money, not me. Again she did not answer my question to the point and asked me to help her. i called up her grandmother, who asked me to lend her "only $10". i felt a bit... cheated... anyway i rejected her because i was at work. and we stopped communication from then. money is not the issue, but it's the relationship. i know nuts about her and i've spent money on her already. friends shldn't be like tt. it's not helping her to lend her money as and when she needs. she was starting to think of me as a financial provider.

anyway those few days i felt emotionally tormented. people who are poor are not necessary pitiful, when they start to become bad and turn to stealing, robbing, kidnapping, etc etc crimes just because they lack. i cried every night for those few days. and then i decided that i don't want to help her anymore. sorry there's not much i can do.

:: update 19-20 May ::

2007-05-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

Okie... wanna share about my trip over the weekend.

The day before that, I had a very very bad headache. Felt nauseous too. I continued to have headache even the morning of the trip itself. But I prayed and believed in healing, and AMEN!

I had breakfast at wang jiao after confirming my ticket. It was like half an hr to check in time when i confirmed my ticket. There is the possibility of missing tt ferry. Thank God for swift clearance at the customs.

This time I didn't pack in a lot of things. Decided not to bring my camera along, as well as sleeping bag, jacket. On the ferry I started feeling cold halfway, so i used my towel to cover myself! haha.. Didn't feel sleepy at all during the journey, possibly because I had breakfast.

When i arrived i met Paul... we have language barrier. he seemed to be saying phei phei is not coming, so i followed him. after all i'm going to his (brother's) place. then in the oplik he mentioned Awang. i said i dunno who's tt. he replied tt Awang is Asun's kia - tt's either Frenky, Wiky or Wati already.

Arriving at Asun gu's hse I went to put my bag inside a room. Then i went out and greet his family. Asun gu then called PP to make sure she knows I'm here. turns out she didn't arrange for Paul to pick me up and that she's at the jetty waiting for me! oh no... so she came to Asun gu's place. I actually felt very.... nua. like taking my own sweet time to do anything.

Decided to let PP arrange the schedule for the day. So we went to visit this youth called Ana. i actually went to her place before, with my parent's cell grp. We had offered the children in the house chocolates and visited their neighbours. so we chatted with Ana's aunt and asked Ana if she want to go out jalan-jalan with us. We also asked her niece to come along. Meiyi is very cute and self-entertaining. I'm not a very entertaining person, so i was worried tt she might be bored with us, but she really can entertain herself and us as well. For example she would point to the mole on her face and exclaim "oki-oki" (i think it means mole). Soooo cute!

we went for lunch at this restaurant called Try Eat. i've passed by there before but nv went in. they serve food like Fish & Co. lor, grilled seafood platter for 2, costs 59,000Rp. I didn't dare to try it though. haha I ordered BBQ Chicken nasi goreng. it's not bad~

after tt we went to take the oplik to Baran Dua to find Xiao Lan. I previously mentioned tt she is struggling with spiritual attack. PP told me tt she stopped coming for youth cell grp. So we went to visit her to check out what's going on. When we reached her place I realise i have been to her place before as well. Just that i've never met her then.

She complained abt a headache, so i told her i was also having headache. But she felt tt it's different. "you can get well but i cannot." she feels defeated, and has lost faith in "herself". PP and i encouraged her to see things in a bigger perspective and i shared with her the verse from Romans 16:19 - "And the God of peace will soon crush Satan underneath your feet!" she didn't look convinced. then we went inside the house (we were outside on the verandah) and chatted with her mother. I didn't understand totally what she was saying so PP later explained tt her mother wants to see a miracle in her daughter in order for herself to believe in Christ.

overall the visits were a little discouraging.

we went to near PP's hse to cut hair. i saw a crucifix hanging on top of the door of ~~her~~ i mean, the hairdresser's house so halfway through cutting i asked her if she's catholic. She told us tt her husband is, but she herself not really. i found a magazine page for an example of how I want to cut my hair. PP doesn't want to change her hair style, so she just cut shorter. i was quite scared when the lady cut my until until very short! but tt was what i had wanted ma. haha.. overall very satisfied la. Costs 20,000Rp. =)

went back to Asun gu's house and showed them my new hairstyle. hehe they think it's nice. =) went inside the room and played with Aimei and weiwei. They wanted to watch vcd on the computer, so i switch it on for them. then Acing, i think it's weiwei's eldest sister, if not neighbour, came in and shared her vcds. There were mostly Tom & Jerry, little mermaid ...etc. Her full name is Liu Wei Qing (in case i forget the next time i see her).

PP had finished showering and had come to find me. we went to church. She wanted to check her email, so i prepared for cell grp downstairs. Then some of the youths arrived. I'm glad to see Puili (Philip). =) they had a service on thurs and went to visit him after that to encourage him to continue to come for cell grp. he also tried to get Samuel to come today, but not able to.

Ah yan led worship and taught the new song Come Holy Spirit by CHS. wow. they told me tt Auntie Serene gave them the cd. and then i shared word. *add-on: Sharing was abt serving in ministry; the attitude towards it, the importance of having a strong foundation before serving, and importance of unity among ministries. was struggling v much with language... i always can't think of the word to express. was trying to make it a reflective one, but i felt sheepish when there is loss of words. i wasn't getting ANY response from the youths too. so it was a little awkward. this time those we had visited earlier didn't turn up.

after cell grp PP brought me out for dinner. we had Ayam penyet. fried chicken flattened. it was not bad because the meat was tender and the chili quite sweet. the sayur asem (assam veggie) was good too, tastes like nonya food. there were also mint leaves. PP says eating it helps to detox. i never knew the leaves could be swallowed. i always thought it's like chewing gum, chew already cannot swallow. she told me tt last time during Pak Hadi period there was a Ayam Penyet stall near his hse, but now no more, only recently Ayam Penyet revived, in a different location though. we also chatted abt our rebelliousness - her mom wasn't happy abt her going into full-time, spending so much time outside n going home late. My mom only found out tt i was going in to tj balai alone, the day before. She told me better not to go, if i'm going in alone. but well, for good reason i didn't listen to her. i told her i got work to do here. anyway it was a good time fellowshipping with PP.

then we walked to Indo to buy stuff. i popped the qn, are the toilet rolls in church bought specially for church use? (meaning, or did someone bring it from home) quite a weird qn la. cuz i was planning to buy toilet roll for Asun gu's house. but i dun think they use toilet paper one leh. so they'd probably give it to church. i also bought Indomie goreng as usual n a few snacks. (Hello Panda got new flavours!!! cookie n cream and cheese!!) met Ai Zhen... she was with a lady i thought was her mom, but she's actually her boss.

after tt we walked back to Asun gu's hse. they were probably all in the room and didn't hear us knock. then Asun gu came n opened the door for us. *phew* dun want to be locked out of the hse, man. went up and went to bathe. lotsa hair dropped. =x

watched tv with the family. Wiky went out with friends. hmmph as usual but didn't jio me! heh... watched some taiwan variety shows and movie at the same time, different channels. Wiky came back only around 12am sia, so late!

went back to the room to do QT n then slp. i looked around for a blanket but couldn't find any leh, so i used my towel to cover myself. was worried cuz i saw a mosquito in the room =x

next morning i woke up earlier than expected. wanted to wake up at 8am, but automatically got up at around 7am instead. felt cold. so i got up, washed up and packed my bag. i stared with unbelief at the blanket i found when i lifted up the pillow. No wonder i felt it was a bit too high!!! when i peed (oops) i smelled the mint from the leaves i ate last night.. i think the detox really works! wow i wanna buy back...

around 8am Wiky popped by the room and was surprised to see me all ready. haha.. he supposed to accompany me go jetty to pick up Persis ma, but her ferry was delayed, so we waited at home. had roti prata for breakfast and Wiky made tea for me. (blissful *.*) *disclaimer: Wiky is just a very good friend and brother! i do joke abt missing his brother, but dun take it seriously ah! haha.. felt bad cuz i didn't ask Paul whether he wants us to help him order food or not. he went out for breakfast on his own.

waited until the whole family is awake. even Aimei. she played with me =) when i went to the back of the house to get my shoes, she actually looked for me, n asked "where's the singapore nang?" hohoho... so cute. then i heard Asun gu calling Wiky 'Awang', so i realise tt's him. then around 10am Wiky n i headed for the jetty. we chatted abt other places of Indonesia. talked abt how small tj balai is, it's only a dot in the Riau islands map... abt Batam, Surabaya, Sulawesi, Jogjakarta...etc. abt how to get to Jakarta from balai. I...dun think i've ever been to jakarta. dunno y. he has plans to go jkt during his hols. and he seems undecided abt studying in uni in batam. last night while he cooked noodles for supper i was washing up ma, so we got to chat abit. then at breakfast also got chat a bit. he asked me y i dun want to go uni. i probably gave him a sense of ....i dunno. i think studying in uni is USELESS. haha. personal opinion la. some pple i know pay so much n then slack all their way thru. some pple bia so hard until they die. some pple grad from uni n dun have a job. tt's y i dun c the point.

on the oplik we passed by a volleyball tournament. there were A LOT of pple. i think it helps boost tourism in tj balai. =) finally some 'clean' tourism.

we reached the jetty at the right time. the ferry had berthed and Persis, Joseph n Hiong Yee were just coming out. they went to confirm their return tickets.

then we took the oplik straight to church. Persis kept saying tt i am independent already. n 19th May is independance day for me. hahaha... dunno leh, didn't feel like yday was the first time i came alone leh.

Persis n gang took Sunday school. played some icebreaker games and then Junawan (Ezekiel) led worship. wow, aspiring worship leader. he even led an english song! good to see these children serve =) after the children split into grps Persis n gang took the older grp. Joseph shared abt the Tower of Babel. that it's useless and wrong to pit urself against God.

then it was art n craft time. the children made a 'stone' out of crumpled gold paper n pasted it on another paper, drawing themselves on top of the rock, signifying tt we are firm only when we stand on Christ the rock. then we had closing prayer and dismissed them, with goodies to bring back. went to check on the other grp of Sunday Sch kids. they were still doing art n craft, folding a church from paper. so cute! and at the other upstairs Vita was giving Bible study / training to Fena, ah Qing and Elisa. Very encouraged to see tt.

we went out for lunch, at the bakso stall. the Kopi Tongkat Ali stall, where there is a poster saying 'Satu Minum, Dua yang Menimati' LOL. then we went back to church, a little hurriedly, to have a meeting with Asun gu abt Praise Fellowship's involvement in june. but i was 'stopped' by an elderly woman, Ai Zhen's grandmother. she told me abt her story... how many children she has, grandchildren, what they do, where they live, how many houses they have.... etc... (after tt i realise tt Persis has heard her story 5 yrs ago.) i was impressed by her cantonese and english though. and i do agree tt Ai Zhen is very filial. although she lives somewhere else, at her boss' place, she still drops by her grandmother's place to buy breakfast for her, talk to her... buy meals for her etc, everyday. she could have got an education in singapore, but she chose to take care of her granny.

after that Paul came back from lunch and started talking to Ai Zhen's granny so i managed to 'slip away' to talk to Vita and Wati. vita invited me to stay over at her place on my next trip, so we can go shopping haha.. =P new shop open at near her place. *add-on: i asked Vita if she's getting baptised with her dad next month, but she says dunno, because she has been missing baptism class due to extra lessons on Fridays. Praise God tt Vita's dad is getting baptised!! I can sense his love and passion for God when Hiong Yee talked to him abt his serving in playing drums. Btw Xiao Lan was due to baptised next month too, but she dropped out of baptism class because of the Spiritual attacks. she feels like, why do these things happen to her after she came to Christ?

then service started. Puili came for service too! .. this time i felt lethargic. struggled to stay awake during sermon, preached by asun gu. he was still preparing the message while we watched tv last night wor. hehe. but i couldn't understand the sermon. =x probably i understand hokkien better than teochew.

after service we left for the jetty. went to metro for some snacks while we wait, cuz we were v early. this time the ferry arrived quite on time. fell asleep during the journey n drooled ahahaha. oh i was pissed at the queue at the customs because there was only one counter serving the line i was in! so i watched the other line moving very fast while mine stayed stagnant. rate was like 1 is to 4. =(

had dinner at Han's. uncle hiong yee treated. wee~

tt's all for this trip la. no updates on Cailing though.

Pray Japan

2007-05-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

Tuesday May 15, 11:28 AM
Boy takes severed head to Japan police

TOKYO (Reuters) - A 17-year-old boy turned up at a police station in rural Japan on Tuesday holding a severed human head and claiming that he had killed his mother, police said.
Police in Aizuwakamatsu, Fukushima prefecture, 200 km (125 miles) north of Tokyo, said they had begun a murder investigation but declined to say if they had arrested the teenager.

Kyodo news agency said police had found a beheaded body in the apartment where the boy lived.

The teenager, a student at a local high school, showed up at the police station alone early on Tuesday, carrying the head in a shopping bag, Kyodo added.

"If it's true, then it is horrendous," the government's top spokesman, Chief Cabinet Secretary Yasuhisa Shiozaki, told reporters.

In 1997, the nation was shocked when a 14-year-old schoolboy was arrested for the murder and beheading of an 11-year-old boy and leaving the boy's head next to a school gate in the western city of Kobe.

While government statistics show that overall juvenile crime and murder by minors -- those under 20 -- have been on a decline in recent years, a number of sensational crimes has led to calls for harsher punishment against young offenders.

Following the Kobe murder, the age at which youths could be sent to reformatories was lowered to 14 from 16 in 2001, and a bill to further bring the age down to 12 passed the lower house of parliament last month.

In 2004, an 11-year-old school girl killed a classmate by stabbing her in the neck with a cutter knife, and the year before, a 12-year-old boy murdered a four-year-old by pushing him off the roof of a garage.

Gruesome article, you wish it's only in movies? CHILDREN are re-enacting horror stories! Another article abt the gruesomeness of children is the recent beheading of an "American spy" done by a barely-12-yr-old boy in the middle east. it was video-ed.

:: update 1+ more week to next trip ::

2007-05-09T13:38:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, next trip is 19-20th May. I'll be going in myself. And I would prefer someone else to come along to lead worship for cell grp as I will be sharing word. If no response by then I'll get Wiky to lead worship. Thanks!

:: update 2 weeks after the last trip ::

2007-04-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, thanks for reading updates about Tanjung Balai, here's a new one, through an SMS from Phei Phei:

Cailing's mom went back to Balai to settle the electricity bill thingy, so problem is solved. gee i'm still not sure if she still goes for cell grp n service because of the distance she has to travel from her new home n the sores she's been having on her feet. Pray for healing ok? She's been in Singapore for the Healing Rally, but hasn't seen results. We don't want her to decide not to trust God anymore.

Samuel does go for cell grp, but he's very quiet. Probably like me at first he's not open to church friends but more comfortable with outside friends. Pray for more guys to join cell grp to help him feel more comfortable to share.

Coming trip is on 19 - 20 May. Interested to join me in this exciting work?

:: what an adventure! ::

2007-04-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

* just an add-on, that Samuel did come for the cell grp after all! he was wearing punky blue specs...wooo! haha it pays off to visit pple to encourage to come, although they say no, God still works in them to change their minds! like cailing n puili. samuel didn't seem interested during cell grp though, n left quite quickly after that. just hope tt he will still decide to come for cell grp meetings again.

Wahaha just came back from an adventure.. in the familiar land of Tanjung Balai Karimun Indonesia!

Lemme first start from the day before, fri the 13th. I went to Vivocity Daiso in search of seashells - anything to do with seashells, be it decoration, stationary in the shape of a seashell...etc. i shopped for other items before i decided to ask the staff if she could help me find anything seashell. WOWEE, i managed to find a bag of seashells! $2! i thought i might have to spend $2 per shell.

so after tt i went home. only started do do my QT when it was late, and ONLY STARTED to plan my sharing for word after that. oops.. n also only started to pack my bag after that. so i slept around 3am.. and so woke up slightly late, 7.45am. i wasted too much time at home la. ended up reaching there at 9.20am, unsure if gail could get tickets. thank God she managed to. oh this time only me n gail went in, on sat, persis, joseph n priscilla came in on sun. once i reached HBF cruise centre we hurriedly checked in. but we were still early la. the ferry hasn't arrived yet. our ferry was supposed to be Penguin 10, but we were quite confused when they announced Waterfront 1 going to Tj Balai. well since it's going to the same place, no harm taking it even if it's the wrong one. =P shared with gail what i had planned to share for word. we also talked about tibet for mission trip.. sounds like a really interesting place. i'd like to visit it one day. i didn't slp at all on the ferry. sleepy but not tired. hmm... or the other way round? i was yawning to a point i stopped feeling tired. :S oh yah forgot to mention, on the ferry there was this guy who kept talking to us, asking us about mobile phone. he'd probably just got it n doesn't know how to use. he asked me to help him take a photo n then set it as wallpaper. he kept saying tt it's nice, a bit zi lian~ hahaha.. interesting encounter la.

when we reached, phei phei was not at the jetty yet, cuz i told her we would reach at 12noon. but we arrived about 10 min earlier. gail saw someone familiar. she probably got to know her thru Pastor Hadi's time. that lady was waiting for her boyfriend. the couple look so cute together. =D then gail n i went to confirm tickets. gail was going back on the second ferry on sun, but me on last ferry on sun, because i wanted to stay for the main service. then pp arrived. we took the oplik to Asun gu's place to put down our bags, went to the room to watch Doraemon with Aimei n then went out to eat. PP brought us to Yess cafe. i'd say another standard-upped place. pp says the owner opened the Cipes cafe too. WOW, must be rich sia. n very good business mind. Price is low n affordable for students. n the whole place looks very clean (if u know how tj balai is like u'd agree tt there's a great contrast between inside n outside!). i had mie ayam n ES TEH-O (aka teh-o bing)! n that meal cost me only 10000 Rp.

after tt we went to take the oplik to find cailing, who moved to a new place. actually we went to find her friend Puili, to bring us there. we walked very far into the hills. we were curious to why her family chose to move to such an ulu place, then we found out tt it's cheap n tt her family is poor. they are having problems settling their electricity bills, because they dun use much, but are charged quite high. after chatting inside the house for some time, we moved to chat outside the house. it was a small...hut built by cailing's brother. much cooler outside but much more flies. thank God for the whole trip i wasn't very harrassed by mosquitoes. (probably gail was shielding them from me, but i helped her kill one anyway.) then cailing's father told us tt cailing has some sores on her feet. n flies are super attracted to the sores. i kept urging her to wrap her feet so tt the germ-carriers can't deposit bacteria in the sores. n we kept trying to get cailing to come for youth cell grp. she wanted to give it a miss because she would need to walk very far to the main road n can't go home after tt because it would be dark n dangerous. we got her to stay with us at uncle Asun's place.

after chatting for quite a long time, we decided to go find Puili's friend, Samuel (in indo it is pronounced as 'saa-moo-wel' n gail kept changing it to 'seng-muei', meaning sour plum.. LOL). he lives in kampong bukit, about 10-20 min walk from cailing's ulu place. on the way there we saw pigs!!! haha took photos of the pigs cuz i've never seen it in tj balai before. also took photos of a dead headless rat on the road. =x also found a badminton court, built with zinc. anyway, samuel went to shower when we arrived at his place. actually i went into the house last, so gail told me tt samuel looks very different from Puili n she can't understand how they can be good friends. when he came out i saw tt he's cute. hahahaha!!!! well. he seemed very quiet n shy. his whole family is christian (praise God!) except him. n we kept asking him to come for cell grp too, but he refused because there are few guys. so after tt we decided to go.

we had dinner at a bakso stall. then some baskers came to sing n perform for the customers of the bakso stall. i thought that it's good tt these guys perform as a way of life, as a means of earning money, because tt's probably what they find they do well, n also because they're not like most youths we see there, out of job n depair. i didn't want to eat at first, cuz i wasn't hungry, but i didn't want to miss eating bakso >.< so i ordered too. after that we took oplik to Baran Dua to find ahyang, whom pp mentioned is going to Batam to work. when we reached his place, his mother told us tt he has gone to Batam already. aww...

we walked to church n reached around 7pm, for the cell grp. there were a few kittens outside church. what a delight! but timothy (about 8 yrs old) had used a string to tie 2 kittens together. my heart ached to see that. so disappointed in him. i had thought cell grp was around 3pm, so i asked gail to come in the 2nd ferry, rather than the 3rd. i was a little anxious abt word cuz i did not rehearse n go thru my notes thoroughly. we started playing icebreaker game Blow Wind Blow, to get them mixed in seating. then gail led worship. it was havoc just before cell grp started because gail realised she didn't bring out the songsheets which she photocopied for them. but during worship it was spirit-led. such that there was this new girl Xiao Lan, who started to utter something n wanted to leave. everyone pulled her back, because it was obviously the work of the devil. they started laying hands n praying in tongues for her. gail was a bit not sure what to do at that point, but she continued to play guitar n ministering to her. after that things settled. then it was time for word. i had to assume tt most of them know God's word well enough for me to dig into deeper stuff. shared about firstly their identity, secondly their purpose in life, n thirdly their priorities. language was a barrier, but thank God for gail n PP who helped to explain my points when i couldn't find words. then i told the story of a couple collecting seashells during their lifetime, when they shld have spent it "collecting souls" ie. bringing pple to Christ. so i gave out the seashells to them, to remind them tt they shouldn't be "collecting seashells".

after cell grp, some of us went to Indo A. Yani supermarket to shop. i wanted to buy what i always buy, Indomie Goreng. but there wasn't stock, cuz they had just pulled down a wall to make space for more stuff, n were rearranging their stock. so in the end i bought nothing. went back to uncle Asun's house, knowing that there was a blackout. but we didn't realise tt the blackout wld continue till an unknown time. we could only pray for miracles. felt hot n sticky after the whole day, but after shower it felt good. haha.. the rooms were actually more windy because the windows, protected with mosquito net, were opened. so we went in to sleep about 12am.

i fell asleep quite quickly because i had started to feel cooler after a while. in the middle of the night the electricity came back on, n the lights came on too. tt probably woke me up. gail also was stirred, n she nudged me to go switch off the light. i thought it was soon time to wake up but decided to go switch off the light anyway. then i just felt like i had slept very long n lai chuang for very long, but it wasn't even time to wake up yet =D had set my alarm clock to go off at 8am. went to wash up n then pack bag. just then wiky was awake already. specially mentioned this because he is actually someone who also likes to lai chuang. =P we wanted to go out for breakfast, but there wasn't seats at the coffeeshop, so we decided to order takeaways. i ordered roti prata kosong n telur (egg). the telur one was interesting, it comes with coleslaw too. yes, i swallowed the veggies. but i requested TAK MAU BAWANG (dun wan onion)! Wiky had lovingly made teh-o for gail n me. awww.... =D

after breakfast we went to pelabuhan (jetty) to fetch Persis n gang. gail was there because she was due to leave after they arrive. n i was there because i wanted to discuss with them regarding timing to leave. in the end i still decided to leave on the last ferry though they were going back straight after Sunday school. after tt we took oplik straight to church. Persis n gang conducted sunday school while i helped out with the acting for the story n arts n crafts (which i learned during sunday school itself - haha). after that this girl called huiying gave her art & craft work to me. i asked her y not give it to her friend, n she answered "you're my friend lor!" in mandarin. awww...! =D

went for lunch with persis n gang at a stall we haven't been to for a very long time. i ordered cha kuey tiao, which came with A LOT OF garlic. (yucks! >.<) n some funny pig-stomach-like stuff. then persis n gang left while i went back to church. vita was very nice to ask me out, so we went shopping while there was still an hour before service starts. i had always wanted to go Hawaii, this big shopping centre between Balai (city) and Meral. saw a lot of nice and cheap clothes there! i want to go there again. probably not when i'm scheduled to go there n not in the context of "mission trip". i also want to cut my hair there.. there's a hairdressing salon tt cuts for 10000 Rp (S$2)!!!! heeeheeeheee... also went to a nearby supermarket, probably bigger than Indo, to buy my Indomie goreng! =P then it's time to go back to church.

Vita's dad started coming to church because of drums - a good excuse but not a good example. because before joining a ministry, a person shld be (at least a little) mature. but i find tt his beats are a little off. =x service was good. i felt tt i could understand pp's sermon, taken from Numbers 20:1-13 and 21:4-9. i was sitting beside vita n it was very funny, i forgot the difference between Bilangan and Ulangan (books of the Alkitab - Indonesian version of the Bible) n when she was searching for the passage in Ulangan i thought it was correct. then halfway thru the sermon she flipped to Bilangan n we realise we were both so gong! hahaha... after service uncle Asun asked me to pray for Xiao Lan, who explained tt she has been demon-possessed since she was 14. she would suddenly do something without realising it, n pple around her had to tell her what happened, n a lot of pple would laugh at her for her behavior. i thought it wld be something tt happened at tt time, like probably someone started sharing Christ with her, so the evil spirits would try to stop her. but i urged her to get baptised asap, when she could get rid of her old sinful spirit n exchange it with the Holy Spirit.

after tt i went to wait for pp, cuz she said she would accompany me to the jetty. while waiting, i saw a roadside stall selling my favourite - telur goreng (fried eggs!!!!) oops i actually went for it instead of accompanying Wati n Vita to Pang Chuan-cek's house to do something. then pp took a little long to do something, so uncle Asun n tai-cek were worried tt i might miss my ferry, so tai-cek sent me to the jetty!! i took his motorbike, without helmet! although my dad rides a motorbike, which means i shld not be afraid of being a pillion rider, i was still scared. didn't know how to get up on the bike. =x i must be very heavy. oh no. hahah.. was hanging onto dear life on the handle at the back of the bike so i didn't take photo/video of tt experience. but i was very happy to have experienced that. so many first times in this trip!

also my first time taking ferry alone. together with many DOMs. i went up to the rooftop for sea breeze, n because i was alone, i didn't have to ask anyone if he/she minds me going up there or not. but the DYM (dirty young men) sitting beside me were talking abt women quite loudly the whole time. half the time i tried not to listen. haha. irritating. n i was quite ..hmm surprised tt so many pple drink n smoke so much on a ferry. i also spent the ride taking photos of the sunset. i spotted a ...ship/sea vehicle carrying sand. u know, the thing tt has been going on between Singapore n Indonesia. but i didn't get a good pic of it. urgh. after i got off the ferry i found tt the sea breeze gave me a new hairstyle (n i like it!) hahahaa...

thank God for the safe trip home.

2005-05-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

long time no update here...

on sat, 21/5/05 i made a decision, to make my spiritual walk with God happening n fun to look forward to!

i've planned exciting topics tt i can focus on n pray abt while i spend time with God, planned wad time i will take time away from work juz to have devotion..

hmm.. in case u wanna noe wad topics, n probably give me some comments/guidelines... here goes:
- when will i be ready for a relationship?
- how do I see myself? (self esteem)
- what do i wan to achieve in yr 2005?
- what do i need to change abt myself?
- in what ways can i save the earth?
- how many souls can i win to Christ?
- set sermon topics in Bahasa Indonesia n Mandarin

my devotion time will take one hour, 15 min praise n worship, 30 min reading quiet time material n bible, 15 min prayer. every morning 8-9am i will pray for missions.. of cuz i do not follow this plan very strictly, it shld be As The Spirit Leads. but so far i haven't even been able to fork out as long a time as this, so if i can take more time off work to spend with God, it'll be best la.. the way i plan those stuff on top is like i'm leading a devotion with a grp, but there'll be onli me la..

maybe i'll update when i hear from the Lord regarding those topics.

i think itz realli exciting to learn more abt myself as i spend time with God... this way i'll noe wad kinda things i pursue.. umm.. all tt la..

umm.. u can leave comments here, whether this is a good idea or not.. my intention may be rite, but my method may be wrong ma... thanks...

PICT8623

2005-03-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

PICT8623
Originally uploaded by djgemz.

she's still v spoilt.. threatens to cry whenever she doesn't get her way. haiz... but always lovable cuz she's cute!

2005-01-30T01:12:00.000+08:00

yay! ibu lita sms mi say i can go to kelas bahasa level3! getting back the passion i have for indonesia and ministry... frenky, here i come!~ hehehe

2005-01-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

my body tells me tt i lack exercise... i need to go jogging...

juz now went to zouk hoho~ not to club la, but to apply for a stall in the upcoming flea market! hope i get it then i can sell my stuff to earn money... feeling a bit money minded lately... been worried abt cash flow due to the ibook... i need to top up the balance in my bank or else it will start to deduct $2 every month if the balance is less than $500... u c that's where my worry lies.. but if i do get to set up a stall, i have to worry abt display and transport... i gotta bring my own mat, my own clothes rack (i think) n all my clothes! how m i gonna carry to zouk??

hmm.. feeling better today i guess.

anyway today helped out at a D&T seminar... led a group of sec sch D&T students around a few areas in NYP.. saw some cute guys but all younger than me.. sigh. hahahaha.. jkjk
there was a helper also quite cute oops jk again..
quite lame la, nv explain much abt the places we bring them.. also nv interact much with them.. it feels like orientation n open house.. haha i help out so often in NYP.. the lamest part is i teamed up with kenneth... who kept laughing at zhenghua's uniform.... macdonald's.... at first i was wondering wad was the commotion abt over at blk S, then i went nearer n saw some other students laughing n joking abt ordering EVM while the poor zh students were inside a room viewing mechatronics... well i couldn't help but join in the laughter..?

wanted to go chinatown look at cds but then no money, dun wan to bother planning which cds to buy lor... not a gd time to spend much also..

IF U GOT SPARE CASH, PLS DONATE TO HELP THE POOR HOMELESS VICTIMS IN TSUNAMI AFFECTED AREAS in place of pple who dun have the money to help, like me.... dun buy unnecessary stuff, dun go to posh dining places, dun watch movies lah.. be compassionate, dun focus on your own pleasure while pple out there are suffering...

there's a calling for missions... an email from YEP says they wan ex-YEP members to help lead teams to go to those tsunami affected areas to help in reconstructing the buildings there.. i'm v v v v v X 100 interested to go, but at the same time worried tt it might affect my studies..... but then again if the end is coming soon, y shld i bother so much abt studying? haha.. =X

God pls show me ur will, wadever comes my way that is of ur plan n purpose for me i will accept.....

2005-01-09T21:25:00.000+08:00

i'm soooooo inspired by thailand's graphic design! hmm.... if i can motivate myself to be more hardworking, my design will be mostly influenced by thailand... surfing those websites done by the thais make mi feel v backward.... i gotta push myself veri veri veri hard if i wan to make it big into the designers' world!

hmm... n abt my life... i guess i dun wan to be bothered by relationships right now... my maturity level always kena pulled down whenever i get involved... i wan to be serious in my walk with God, i wan to do more for the children in tanjung balai (even tho frenky's not there anymore sobz....)

right.... motivation.... that's y i'm here! motivation is back~!

2004-09-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

tempe on the ferry hehe..

2004-09-27T22:27:00.001+08:00

after supper at Long Beach

2004-09-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

my cute aimei!

2004-09-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

the "river" dance

2004-09-27T22:25:00.001+08:00

pastor n the children

2004-09-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

cute kitten!

2004-09-27T22:24:00.000+08:00

mi n audrey after putting up lanterns on the rooftop

2004-09-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

ah yang n frenky n lanterns

2004-09-27T21:46:00.000+08:00

yay, back from balai!! v eventful!

on sat i was late to meet audrey.. =( cuz i was uploading songs into my mp3 player to make my journey less boring.. din expect it to take so long.. anyway we missed the ferry! =X kinda panicked.. confirmed the tickets for the next ferry then we went for breakfast at mac's. din feel like eating a meal so i juz bought an egg mcmuffin. called singtel to find out how to call overseas.. then called pastor to let him noe tt we missed our ferry..

sat at the cruise centre to stone n chat with audrey.. felt irritated with pple who kept staring at our passports.. disgusting old man! we thought we missed the ferry cuz the tv screen showed ferry to balai last call already.. panicked.. turn out the ferry hasn't even arrived! managed to get window seat..slept.

reached balai at around 12pm.. saw ah yang.. he led us to take oplik to hotel Rasa Sayang. we checked in, i deposited my passport at the counter then went inside the room, while ah yang helped us to confirm our return tickets. pastor v naughty sia, called our room n faked room service! it was when he asked us whether we had ordered mcdonald fried chicken that i realised it was him! he asked us to go down in 5 min time.

we met the chinese cong pple.. then went for lunch. it was great! frenky n ah zui joined us there. after tt went to pastor's new hse.. discussed plans for the night. we were supposed to plan games for the children.. actually i was clueless to wad i was supposed to do there. anyway we planned treasure hunt n few other grp games.

walked to the church.. spent abt an hour pasting clues all over the area for the treasure hunt game.. tried to put candles into the lanterns, but they juz wun stick. went to the rooftop to decorate the place.. then pastor asked mi n audrey to go meral to fetch the kids to the church. saw a kitten outside the mosque.. carried it to meral, played with it while waiting for the kids to get ready to go. aicen was injured.. the kitten ran after some guy... i lost it... =( took oplik back to the church in baran dua.

the children practised their dance steps, played n ran around, kept bugging mi to take pictures of them haha.. then we had maggi mee for dinner. the chinese cong adults bought other food for audrey n mi, but i dun like it.. forced myself to eat at least half tho.. dun let the children c mi waste food ma.. when it was around time we went up to the rooftop for performance. it was tough trying to control 30+ kids! after performance we went downstairs to play games. then went out for nightwalk. the treasure hunt plan was a failure. we had no time to play. some of them were not careful n they burnt their lanterns. most of them kept bugging us for new candles after their old ones had burnt out. felt quite angry with some of them.. i was carrying a bigger lantern n they swarmed towards mi to snatch it frm mi!

after we got back to the church i went up to the rooftop while they stayed downstairs to play with sparklers. wiky helped mi n audrey take drinks.. :P the tea was v hot sia... aimei v cute.. after the pple left we helped to clear up the rooftop.. then left.. went back to the hotel.. then pastor suggested we had supper at Long Beach! yay!! ordered mussels, sambal kangkong, sotong kia n prawn omelette. yummy!~ after tt supper went back to the hotel room to bathe n slp.

*~sunday~*

woke up at 7+am.. washed up then packed up our bags to check out. had breakfast.. pastor arrived to drive us to the jetty. bought tempe n pisang goreng to eat on the ferry... beautiful sunrise...
the 2 uncles who came with us drove us back to church for service. there was a guest speaker.. v funny.. after service went for lunch with elohim in paccan. had pizza.. a lot of onions.. =S
went back to church to "study" with the sec 4 students.. kinda recapped my A maths.. not bad hehe.. at 3pm went up to the sanctuary for the Harvest Event Thanksgiving Tea.. specially returned frm balai early in the morning for this event..

after tt esther drove mi home.. *thanks!* =) kinda tired to describe everything in detail...this is as detailed as i can liao.. haha..

2004-09-23T11:06:00.000+08:00

Psalm 116

1 I love the LORD , for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the LORD : "O LORD , save me!"
5 The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
6 The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.
7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
8 For you, O LORD , have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
10 I believed; therefore I said, "I am greatly afflicted."
11 And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars."
12 How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?
13 I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD .
14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.
15 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
16 O LORD , truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; you have freed me from my chains.
17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD .
18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people,
19 in the courts of the house of the LORD - in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

2004-09-09T10:46:00.000+08:00

God doesn't promise an easy journey, just a safe landing.

Amen!

2004-08-16T12:07:00.000+08:00

first of all i gotta apologise for not being able to help those in need regarding web design.. esp wanling, who came to my hse 2 days in a row to bia assignment.. i cldn't work anywhere else apart frm my own comp, n i felt kinda weird juz sitting beside her staring at her try to figure out wad width to put for spacer gif. so i went to slp most of the time.. she wld wake mi up when she needs help.. but i think in 3 days i slept not more than 10hrs total..

i myself haven completed my assignment, but i felt thankful, n i have the peace of God in my heart.. esp today.. i did my quiet time last nite.. (i missed the previous nite one) n i prayed during my journey to sch, tt God wld bless me, that my comp will not break down, cuz i use the comp onli as a tool to do my work. to back tt up, i shall not go online for the next few days unless i have to do work! (anyway i'm left with less than 100MB of internet usage already!)

right now i feel kinda joyful.. i din eat much either, but i had food provided when i felt hungry, but a little wld satisfy me already.. perhaps this is an effect of stress n lack of slp ba.. not v tired ba.. God will sustain mi n give me strength!

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:9-10

Oleh karena itu Aku berkata kepadamu: Mintalah, maka akan diberikan kepadamu; carilah, maka kamu akan mendapat; ketoklah, maka pintu akan dibukakan bagimu. Karena setiap orang yang meminta, menerima dan setiap orang yang mencari, mendapat dan setiap orang yang mengetok, baginya pintu dibukakan. Lukas 11:9-10

2004-08-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

i wanna explain y i cried today...

wasn't exactly a bad day.. onli turned bad juz b4 prayer meeting..

had lessons frm 8-3pm.. stayed back to do dsnv assignment.. wanted to finish it then go home can do other stuff.. but i was slow la. we continued doing our work in the comp lab where a yr 3 class was going on.. the lecturer started to talk abt burgers...cheese... then i felt tempted to go buy cheeseburger.. went to mac with wan. bought cakes to celebrate esme's bday.. continued doing work for a while more then i rushed to take train to church.

stopped at marsiling to take cab.. was like 5min b4 6.30pm.. by the time i got to clementi, the cab fare was like $13++ n i had no more money to continue taking to church.. so i alighted in clementi.. walked to 166 bus stop to take bus. became veri late.. wad was worse is, the time i took to get frm marsiling to clementi is like shorter if i had continued to take the train.. kinda mad with the traffic already..

n then i started to have negative thots again... felt veri bitter...
bitter with jealousy, bitter with anger, bitter with low self esteem, bitter with my ugliness.. was praying for God to take those feelings away..n restore joy unto me.. then we sang this song,

O Lord, Your tenderness
Melting all my bitterness
O Lord, I receive Your love
Oh Lord, Your loveliness
Changing all my ugliness
O Lord, I receive Your Love.....

...and i cried...

realli thank God for this prayer meeting.. on my way home my dad was kinda speeding.. fun sia.. saw the moon big, bright orange-yellow... veri nice... felt happy again..

mood swing sia..

2004-08-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

hmm wanna update abt sunday's concert..

realli felt encouraged to c all performers praying in our spare/waiting time instead of chatting or playing.. but i still felt the spiritual warfare going on.. felt v restless n sometimes reluctant to pray..

none of the pple i invited turned up.. a bit disappointed with tt.. but there's another concert next sat!! hope to jio them down~!

after concert went to IKEA restaurant with m'kkadesh pple.. wilson drove.. budden cldn't find seats so we went to Anchorpoint foodcourt.. had thai style beef noodles.. then wilson drove us home.. yeah! thank God! reached home at 10+pm..

2004-07-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i haven updated my blog on wad happened on wed..

it was weng heng n dionne's bday.. so celebrated for them after sch.. sang bday song for dionne while another grp were singing for their fren.. kinda fun like tt..

anywayz we crapped n stoned n rotted for a long while before we decide to go to the comp lab to do some work.. at 5pm i went to the campus crusade connection.

it was same thing as the vision tea, ice-breaker games then worship then word. i felt weird.. i meet all these pple for the 1st time n i tried to be enthu n active.. so got to noe more pple today.. kevin led worship n i felt tt his voice is abit too harsh.. juz felt tt he's holding on too tightly abt his image n i wanted to tell him to not be afraid to show his weaknesses in the presence of God..

n word session was good.. abt fellowship n the importance of fellowship.. the love between Christians shld attract unbelievers to Christ lor.. i juz feel tt my church is lacking tt.. everyone's too "close" to each other tt we kinda lose the passion.. dun think u guys will understand wad i'm trying to say.. a bit tired now to describe better..

the whole thing is kinda rushed, even more so as the speakers emphasize tt they dun haf much time.. the connection ended a little later than expected so i took a packet of drink n left... i din noe tt they collect offering.. haha so i dun haf enuf to give today..

anyway i rushed off to dhoby ghaut for kelas bahasa.. learnt abt prohibitions like Jangan, Dilarang, dan lain lain.. Dilarang Merokok means "do not smoke/smoking is prohibited"... u get the meaning~

yah basically tt's abt it... one day i hope to be able to write a whole entry in bahasa so u all wun understand... hhaaha... -.-

2004-07-15T01:57:00.000+08:00

retreat photo

2004-07-14T01:46:00.000+08:00

did i juz realise this or wad?
2004 is the yr of missions for mi!
my heart is realli in mission.. when pple tell mi abt religion in other countries i wld feel the urge to pray n actually have the ambition to reach out to the nations! budden... i can't even evangelise to pple ard mi lor.. sigh~

2004-07-14T01:38:00.000+08:00

what i learnt from Psalmist Retreat 2004:
- worship is glorifying God, being His mirror n reflecting His glory.
all Man believe in a supernatural being.. some of them r juz blinded by the works of the devil.. --> aboriginals wld make statues out of wood, or worship the Sun god kinda thing.. they need pple to bring the gospel to them so tt they will understand y they worship.. n who they rightfully shld worship.
- worship beyond boundaries
- the 3 Ps of worship - purpose, priority, pitfalls

2004-07-10T01:33:00.000+08:00

joined campus crusade.. there was a meeting today.. thot abt some things.. there weren't gd looking pple (abit disappointed) but well, i shld nv nv judge pple frm looks.. i can still be v good frens n brothers n sisters in Christ with them!

i was a bit judgmental on their worship session too.. juz becuz the mic was too loud, juz becuz the way they sing some songs is diff from the way my church sings, juz becuz the worship leader din face us during the session, juz becuz she kinda interrupted the worship mood by cracking a joke.. but inside of mi something tells mi not to be bothered with all these human mistakes.. when worshipping God, itz all abt God.. when i closed my eyes to sing, there was also this thot, 'y r u closing ur eyes? r u juz trying to show pple tt u can sing these songs without looking?' so i opened my eyes.. anyway the worship leader has a v sweet voice n i'm sure she has the heart of worship..

there was a testimony session after tt.. felt tt the guy (noel) was kinda reading frm a script.. =X then a lecturer came to share word from Act 4:1-22.. felt ministered by the word.. had refreshments after tt.. got to noe more pple.. had dinner with them.. but i was kinda sian.. i find myself boring too.. haiz.. kevin actually thot i was 21.. i think i look old ba..

anyway during dinner lingling told us abt her mission trip to japan. the christian population is like 0.5%.. i believe tt is worse than indonesia.. felt a bit the urge to concentrate on japan for missions instead.. cuz itz true tt the pple r v polluted.. itz like a sin city.. decided to put japan on my prayer list.. i asked yvonne if she were interested to pray for japan too.. cuz i noe she likes japan..

tmr is psalmist retreat at changi SAF.. n i'm still online now, haven even packed! wad's wrong with mi today?

2004-06-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

i feel tt i need to do a reflection after my trip this time..
i felt like i dun wanna spend money here in singapore on material stuff.. instead i shld use the money to buy things for the pple in tj balai to bless them.. or else drop in more money in their offering bag..
thot of sponsoring some of the children to make their own passports n come to singapore, but then i feel tt it doesn't exactly help in building their faith in God.. feel tt singapore has bad modern influences on children like them.
their faith in God is truer than ours, i feel.. cuz they dun do much work n have to depend on God to provide for them.. whereas we have too much work to do, been too busy for God, think tt we can rely on ourselves for survival..
they can sing the same worship song over n over again, n tt is worship unto God for them. for us, we get sick of old songs n we constantly wan to listen n sing new songs.. this seems to become a song dedication thingy.. but maybe if we r right with God, then itz ok, we can still have the heart of worship whether we sing new songs all the time..
the children in tj balai dun have alkitab.. so itz hard to tell them to read the bible everyday.. tt's one thing i wanna pray for them abt. whether they pray everyday or not, i also dunno.. but anyway i felt realli encourage to c wiky pray a long prayer before he had his meal (even tho the pastor said grace already).. i'm guilty of rushing grace so tt i can have my meal faster, sometimes without even meaning it when i say, "thank God for the food. Amen."
anyway the month of fasting has come... i need to fast n pray more..

2004-06-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

dunno wad this is called.

2004-06-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

one sign tt i'm spiritually dry is i haven been updating this blog for some time..
been too busy with sch stuff to spend enuf quality time with God.. been depressed for quite a while.. i guess itz pms ba, cuz today my period came n i seem to cheer up more..
went to tanjung balai for a weekend mission trip cum get together with the frenz i made there.. itz always a gd trip everytime.. did new stuff, tried new food...
went on sat morning..i was desperate to look for ATM to withdraw money for the ticket n to exchange currency. then normal routine, went thru customs, got onto ferry (this time v minimal waiting).. i was so happy tt audrey came cuz she wanted to come along the last time but cldn't make it.. there were ian, weiyang, rongfa, anna, elaine, sarah, persis, n kelsey who came at night. slept on the ride there. wasn't exactly comfortable but there was nothing much to do except to slp.
reached.. n ian saw ah yang.. changed money there. then we saw pastor n frenky too. took the oplik to hotel rasa sayang, the same one i stayed in the last time i came. bought pisang goreng opp our hotel. tempe v nice! this time our room not as nice as the last time. rested for 15min then went down..
took the van n visited the locals..i dun realli like getting on the van n alighting too often.. i'd rather take it for long trips..our church moved.. n we went to the new one.. after tt went to visit the girls frm the Youth congregation.. had lunch.. wasn't delicious but i finished my food.. took the van straight to the outing venue.. dunno wad's the place called, tho.
played games.. worship.. persis shared word n then we went to take the dunno wad's it called.. itz in the shape of a duck, itz sorta a canoe but u peddle it with ur legs.... haha ya anyways itz 10000Rp per half an hour.. which is around $2.. i treated the girls on my "boat".. we played bumper "boats"..kinda fun.. but too bad i din take photo of us inside the boat.. i took out my pouch with my camera cuz i was afraid i'd fall into the water..
after tt had dinner at padi mas.. had maggi mee goreng.. weiyang audrey pastor ahqing n i sat together.. suaned each other..haha.. went to the supermarket to buy stuff.. did something bad.. we bought tiger beer n drank it right in front of the pastor n a few of our own pple.. i thot we were gonna drink it in the hotel while watching soccer so i bought it lor.. but nvm the youths did nt c tt so we din stumble them..
waited a long time for the van to pick us up to go back to hotel.. then went back, kelsey arrived n bought murtabak for mi to celebrate my birthday.. i was v happy tt they bothered.. debriefed with pastor then bathed. 10.30pm we went to persis' room to debrief n do evaluation. we had food sharing session at the same time.. ahyang was present while we practise our song item with sign language. i was stoning already..
practised telling my story to persis after tt... it was quite terrible for me cuz i felt not totally prepared for the word session for sunday sch. went back to room 314 to slp.. woke up at around 2+am to watch soccer.. i heard my alarm clock ring ma.. then called up the other pple to watch with us.. in the end elaine n anna slept.. v boring match.. v close goals but haiz.. i went to slp at 4am.. woke up around 8.30 to packup n check out n breakfast.
then we took the van to aicen's hse for 1st sunday sch. fewer children than the last time we came. wasn't v encouraging.. kelsey did games n elaine did word n arts n craft..we made bookmarks.
went over to the new church for 2nd sunday sch.. showed frenky n wiky photos i took the last time with the computer.. hehe.. had worship n then games.. we played v long.. then itz my turn to share word. i told the story of daniel in the lion's den.. n the moral of the story is pray n trust in God.. setiap hari berdoa. my story-telling technique sucks........ i need to improve on tt.. had noodles cooked by rongfa b4 the church service started.. we performed our song item after the preaching.. fell aslp when pastor prayed a long prayer.. =X hang around until 5pm then we took the oplik to the ferry terminal.. wiky n ahyang followed us.. had Metro chicken...boarded the ferry quite late n we cldn't sit together. i sat with ian n anna. slept a while.. had dinner in harbourfront food court.. persis bought me a ring (my 2nd one frm her already haha).. then took NEL back home. reached at 10.30pm.

2004-06-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

i need motivation!! i feel so challenged n stretched... 2004 is a stretching yr for mi!

currently i'm busy with OGL planning.. n i still attend kelas bahasa.. very tired after today... 2 ladies joined the class today, n they're quite gd in speaking the language, while i'm still struggling... felt quite stressed.. haizzzz....

then met zane n jane outside PS after tt.. zane asked mi to consider joining the Indonesian Ministry in church once in a while... i felt tt itz realli useful to learn speaking the language, but i dunno whether i'm up to it or not...

gone thru a leadership camp, experienced a lot... need to apply wad i've learnt...

2004-05-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

i resume bahasa lesson liao, officially in level 2! hehe..

2004-05-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God..(and the called according to His purpose...)
Romans 8:28

my quiet time verse of the day on monday.. i c my duty roster for work i feel stressed... i have to change shift cuz i wanna go to church on sunday, n i have already signed up for the women's day out on saturday.. i have changed my shift again to friday night.. i'm gonna miss kwek's performance, but i realli dun dare to ask for a change again.. the boss is realli scary..

i'm supposed to be independent tmr onwards.. still have fear tt i cannot cope.. need prayer!

2004-05-15T12:09:00.000+08:00

Psalm 4:4
Be Angry, and do not sin.
Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.

i happen to think of this verse while chatting with ian (frm my sch) he was angry abt something, n was using strong words against a person who did him wrong.. so i told him, be angry but do not sin.
anyway, reflecting on myself, many times i have been angry, n tempted to sin.. so hope i can always remember this verse whenever i feel angry n tempted to sin.

2004-05-04T00:09:00.000+08:00

rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!
Philippians 4:4
sunday's sermon on joy... something i seem to have lost during the past month.. i feel like itz coming back =)

2004-04-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
this is the verse tt came to my mind on Sunday.. and tt veri night, as i was doing my quiet time, this verse happen to be the verse of the day. it can't be mere coincidence cuz i believe tt's wad God wants to tell me.. besides i did not read tt page beforehand.. truly i need to meditate on tt verse.
lately i haven't been feeling joyful. i realli need the peace of God n realli need to stop worrying abt things happening ard mi.

2004-03-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

thank God for peace.. n rest.. during this period of rushing assignment.. i cld nv feel such ease if i dun have God in my life!

2004-03-22T21:59:00.000+08:00

juz returned from tanjung balai yesterday..taught sunday sch for the 1st time.. felt scared at first.. worried abt response from the children.. furthermore gotta repeat the teaching twice.. but actually it turned out to be something gd cuz at least i got chance to add in the things tt i forgot to say..
it was a great experience.. thank God for gd weather n safety.. aicen thinks frenky likes mi muahaha.. i kinda hope so too ;)

2004-03-16T03:47:00.000+08:00

thank God for bringing mi thru! had lotsa problems but they r solved now..
for animation i had to re-shoot all my assignments.. for CP i forgot to photocopy the paper and buy mounting board.. for DF i went to print today but the effect i wanted did not turn out.. had to buy extra sticker paper..then my file was not readable in the Mac comp.. rushed back to sch but kenna scolding.. now i managed to borrow the CP paper from yc.. n God let sebastian to msg mi then teach mi how to get the effect tt i wan! yeah! i dun have my cd-rw with mi... but i rem tt my sis has thumbdrive! hope i can borrow from her..

2004-03-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

today's service was POWER. i'm glad i went, instead of staying at home to rush my assignment.. or slp longer... i believe everything happens for a reason.. i feel like evangelising to my frenz... but do i have enuf faith? i believe now, tt it is out of passion for the unreached tt i've decided to go out to the mission field.. thank God for blessings! i am ready to bless others with tt!

2004-03-09T03:59:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking... if i weren't Christian i'd probably be anti-Christ due to my stubborn character.. i was insistent to prove the magnetic therapy thingy wrong..

2004-03-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

ok now this entry is abt my Christian walk..
i was quite enthusiastic abt sharing God's word with my friends when i was young.. i rem forcing my best friend read the bible 'or else i dun friend u!'... haha..
then upper pri i became pai kia.. always wan to do naughty things... bully pple.. until sec sch i became gd ger.. almost no life.. my Christian walk was suffering until i met my 1st bf.. i felt tt i need to be a gd example so tt he wld c y itz gd to follow Christ.. i failed to convert him... n tt realli brought my morale damn low..
now after mission trips, i began to find passion in mission work.. or rather.. i can't differentiate whether i do it out of love for God, or out of selfish desire to go Tj Balai to (enjoy holiday/eat gd food/c gd looking guys).... anyway i'm taking Bahasa Indonesia lessons now to be able to communicate with the pple in Balai.. my recent quiet time was gd at first.. but standard dropping.. i've been online till veri late at nite.. until i'd be too tired to concentrate..
i dun realli pray a lot also.. i c Christian couples around mi.. they start out by praying for one another... can i find a guy to pray for too?

2004-03-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

ok this is the 1st entry.. juz wanna briefly describe my Christian life..
i'm the sensitive type of person.. n i feel tt pple dun like mi.. even in church.. i was in church since i was born.. n i always felt left out.. i din like my early yrs in church.. sometimes i felt tt i cld have juz stayed home to watch cartoons on early sunday mornings.. i started to feel upset abt having to eat lunch with parents n not be able to go out with other church members every sunday.. veri horrible social life..
then i moved on to Feetwashers.. i was the onli ger in the grp n i simply dunno how to encourage other gers to join mi.. the guys onli talk abt soccer... etc.. Aunty Lily also chat with them abt soccer n leaves mi out.. juz felt tt she din like mi as well..
moved on to Youth service as soon as i reached the age.. i wanted to join M'kaddesh instead of El Shaddai but seems like Andy doesn't allow tt.. 'psycho-ed' to like El Shaddai after one bbq outing.. liked the fellowship alot but now i'm kinda suffering.. i can hardly confide in the pple in my cell grp.. i'm glad Elohim was born.. i was kinda close to the pple there.. n seems like i can clique with everyone except El Shaddai pple.. but i'm still there becuz i'm proud to be in a young n noisy cell grp.. o.0?
joined the Psalmist ministry... happening ministry.. feel proud to be in there too.. but i felt i was being rostered for duty for 5 times in 2 mths n i dun realli like tt arrangement.. but i like the outings n fellowship.. in Psalmist i can clique with Landy.. a little bit with the girls.. but i feel tt Shirley dun like mi.. can tell she prefers Liz.. between my sis n i, i think she'd prefer my sis. so....
Shiqi is nice, but she brings mi around to mingle with my cell grp members as if i were realli an outcast... i'm juz a bit sensitive abt tt.. then when Elohim leaves i suddenly feel alone..
in my cell grp i talk most to Jac... but there were some things i din tell her too.. basically this is my social life in church..